Mel's Mind, January 21, 2009

I was so excited yesterday -- I was glued to the TV and had a difficult time pulling myself away. I am so pro Obama/Biden anyway -- and it was thrilling to see them take command of our country. I think we are in for some big changes in the next couple of years; I am sure that some of them will be really difficult for us, but necessary. I look forward to the draw down of the troops in Iraq. I think it is senseless that we are still there. I don't think we are helping the citizens of that country; I do think that we are creating a sort of helpless dependence on the soldiers there.

I often wonder if the President Bush really thought that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. I sometimes think that it was a sort of revenge for his father's failed mission there. I know that when it was discovered that there were no weapons of mass destruction, the troops should have begun a draw down, but there wasn't. I would like to be inside of Bush's head to understand why he made some of the decisions that he made. When he left DC yesterday, I thought he was looking old and tired. I felt a twinge of sympathy for him and Laura. I guess history will tell what sort of president he was.

In the same vein of thought, we face a new commander and a new force of power. I heard a comment on the news that President Obama was concerned that he would lose the man that he was before the election. In some ways, it is inevitable that he will change -- I don't know that he will lose that man, but I know he will change. I hope he does keep his ideals though. Power can corrupt if you don't wield it correctly.

I am sure that others have high hopes for the future too. I know that I do.

Voting and Therapy for today

I voted today, did you? I surely hope so. It is such an important responsibility that we accept as being and claiming citizenship to our country. I am excitedly watching election returns tonight.

I went to therapy today. I know I missed blogging about a couple of sessions, and I don't want to get too far behind. So -- we have been talking a lot about Human growth and development. I really am liking my therapist, S. She is so together and so smart. She seems to be able to pick my brain.

I am wrapping my head around the fact that a lot of my problems stem from being co-dependent. You know, I have been that way for so long that I can't pin point where self begins or ends and the sickness of being overly codependant starts and ends. I just about have myself talked into going to group recovery for CODa. I don't know for sure yet. Shit, I could spend all of my evenings going to support meetings. There is Al-Anon. I have never been to one of those, but I am really thinking strongly about it also. In addition there is Adult Children of Alcoholics that I would like to try also.

One thing I haved learned in therapy is that I don't know what my triggers for depressive behavior are. That is a real problem, as I can't begin a recovery plan when I am not even sure of the triggers. I am going to work on that really hard for the rest of the week. I am realizing that I really don't want to feel this way for the remainder of my life. I have spent my entire adult life not knowing what or whoe I am -- always wrapping my life around someone else's. Not a good thing if you allow yourself to suffer and fall to the wayside in the process.

Some good things came out of today; at least I think a lot of good things came out of it. Happy election day to you all.