My sister-friend 's mom  passed away recently.  It is so sad to loose your mother -- and so hard.  I know from experience.  Life is never the same.  Here is a link to a blog entry that my friend had written about her mom.  It is well worth the read.  PS:  I love you Melody.  Blue Memphis

A life well lived

I have been reflecting on the loss of Whitney Houston. Perhaps it touches me so because we are of the same age -- both born in 1963. Her life, for all of the supposed glamour that came with it appears to be one filled with heart ache.

I think of words that I have heard from other celebrities -- about how life as a celebrity isn't always as it appears to be. It is often filled with loneliness and isolation. I don't think I would want that kind of life. Sure, money can bring all sorts of material luxuries, but what are they if your life is empty otherwise?

I can't imagine not knowing who I could trust, who I could turn to. Always second guessing as to whether or not those around you are there for the money and fame or out of true love.

My life is often difficult. My health is not great. I suffer from chronic depression in addition to my other health issues. I have been to that edge and stepped over, not wanting to live any longer because I was so in the depths of that dark depression. I am financially poor by USA standards. But I have love of friends and family. I am rarely bored or lonely, and to be quite truthful, I don't feel especially poor. I have a house with electricity, heat, and running water. My children have luxuries like video games and the computer. We have three pets. I have a solid car that is paid for. I don't have the newest and best, but I am content. I wonder if Whiteny Houston would have said that smame thng. For all she had, I believe I have more.

An all new me

I have not been writing often -- not here, not anywhere. It is time to make a change. I am going to attempt to write more frequently, which includes blogging on a more regular basis.

Yesterday, it was announced that Whitney Houston had passed away. I turned 49 last month; she was 48. A talent cut short; a life cut short. I don't know what to make of it. I know she had her demons -- street drugs. Who knows what drove her there, but it was a sad place to be for sure. She leaves behind a daughter, who faces her adult life without her mother. My sympathies go out to Ms. Houston's family, and especially her daughter.

It makes me think of people that I have known that havc passed quite before their time. Unfortunately, I have lost friends -- as well as the lost of celebrities in pop culture. Mortality is a scary thing, I think. The thought of leaving behind those who you love most. It disturbs me to think that my children would be left without me; still too young to make it on their own. I would like to live to see them into their middle ages at least. It has always been important , but it is even more so since their father left as now they rely totally on me. I wonder how other single parents feel, or if they even give it consideration at all.

At any rate, 2012 is seeing an all new me. There is much that has been given a back seat, and it is time for me to bring them back into focus. To bring myself back into focus -- a clearer, sharper, more well-defined me.