When I was a child living at home with my parents and my six brothers and sisters, it was a hard time for us. My dad treated my mom and us kids awful. In the early years of their marriage -- and way before me -- my dad drank and ran around and just didn't take care of his family. He got another woman pregnant while he was married to my mom, he became an alcoholic. He abused us kids and my mom. Until a couple of years ago, I had about 11 years of my life that I couldn't really recall because what happened during that span of time was so horrendous.
Years later, when I was an adult, I asked my mom why she stayed through all of that garbage he put her through. She simply said, "I love him. I have always loved him." I really didn't get it at the time, and no matter how often I said it or thought about it, I just couldn't see how her love for my dad could be so strong as to weather even the stormiest of times. I knew what love was, but I guess I didn't know what that never ending love was. I do now, and I totally understand: love doesn't know boundaries or follow a structure. Nor does it come easy or cheaply. But once it has a grip on your heart, if it is true love, it won't ever give up, no matter the situation or the consequence.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Here we go again
While riding on the magical train we like to call life has been a doozy of a ride for this family. Job changes, illness, difficulties with friends -- you name it, and it is pretty sure bet that this family has been through it save for natural disasters. So it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone to find out that we were in a vehicle accident last week.
A car ran a red light and just smashed the heck out of our little car. I was picking up Jacob from school, and pulling out of the school's driveway, I got smashed. In my mind, I have replayed the scenario over and over, could I have seen him sooner -- I don't think so as he crested a hill and that is when I saw him barrelling down on us like some sort of enraged bull. We, of course, were the brilliant cape of the matador.
I saw that bull soon enough to stomp the gas pedal which prevented him from hitting my door. Instead the back door on the diver's side was hit. I have been in auto accidents before, but I don't ever recall one this fierce. Upon impact, my breath was knocked out of me. I don't know if I blacked out or not, but the next thing I see is the middle school in front of me. The car had been hit with such force that it swung around 160 degrees, just like the matador swings around with the cape while preparing for the blow with his sword. The drivers side airbag deployed, and thankfully there were no children in the way. The matador was gored.
Immediately following, Jacob kept saying, "Did that just happen? Did we just get hit?" My thoughts echoed his words -- the entire thing was so surreal. After the perfunctory going over to ensure he was not hurt or in any pain, I asked him to fig out my cell phone and call his dad. In what seemed liked seconds, there were people at the car talking to us, trying to assist in any way possible. The first two people to the car were an off duty paramedic and a nurse. My neck was hurting so bad that I had a hard time thinking of anything other than the pain.
Meanwhile, my brave warrior of a son took control of the situation. He got my ID and insurance card and gave them to the police officer. He made sure I was being looked after. He gathered his book bag and picked up and put back the spilled contents of my purse. And when the ambulance came and asked did we need to go to the hospital, he said yes when I hesitated. He called his dad and his brother to let them know what was going on. He asked the ambulance driver about how loud the siren would be inside the ambulance explaining that he was autistic and loud noises really bothered him. (We were driven to the hospital with no sirens.) When we got to the ER he was told he couldn't come in the ER entrance that we were coming in -- I told the paramedics that he was autistic, but Jacob had already spoken up for himself, letting them know that he didn't want to be separated from his mom until he knew how I was doing. I am so proud of him for keeping a cool head and doing what needed to be done.
At the hospital, no broken bones were found, just lot of bruising and sore all over. It seems that the car got the worst of it. The door that was hit was punched in a good foot, if not more. Everything on the driver's side is out of alignment. If that day had been a regular Wednesday for us, Patrick would have been in the front seat and Jacob would have been in the seat that received the largest part of the blow. I don't see how anyone in that seat could have survived. The car looks as though someone was injured.
But it wasn't a regular Wednesday. Patrick was home sick, so Jacob was in the front seat. Although there was a lot of students in the area, none were in the street. The driver of the other car immediately said he ran a red light. He also, by the way, walked away from the accident. Normally, there wouldn't be another manager at work and Mark wouldn't have been able to leave early, but another manager had come in early to get some things done, so Mark was able to leave immediately.
So here we are several days later. The car is totaled. We are sore, but thankful -- so thankful --
that it wasn't any worse. We are sure the hand of God was involved in this -- protecting us as well as all of these children leaving their school.
A car ran a red light and just smashed the heck out of our little car. I was picking up Jacob from school, and pulling out of the school's driveway, I got smashed. In my mind, I have replayed the scenario over and over, could I have seen him sooner -- I don't think so as he crested a hill and that is when I saw him barrelling down on us like some sort of enraged bull. We, of course, were the brilliant cape of the matador.
I saw that bull soon enough to stomp the gas pedal which prevented him from hitting my door. Instead the back door on the diver's side was hit. I have been in auto accidents before, but I don't ever recall one this fierce. Upon impact, my breath was knocked out of me. I don't know if I blacked out or not, but the next thing I see is the middle school in front of me. The car had been hit with such force that it swung around 160 degrees, just like the matador swings around with the cape while preparing for the blow with his sword. The drivers side airbag deployed, and thankfully there were no children in the way. The matador was gored.
Immediately following, Jacob kept saying, "Did that just happen? Did we just get hit?" My thoughts echoed his words -- the entire thing was so surreal. After the perfunctory going over to ensure he was not hurt or in any pain, I asked him to fig out my cell phone and call his dad. In what seemed liked seconds, there were people at the car talking to us, trying to assist in any way possible. The first two people to the car were an off duty paramedic and a nurse. My neck was hurting so bad that I had a hard time thinking of anything other than the pain.
Meanwhile, my brave warrior of a son took control of the situation. He got my ID and insurance card and gave them to the police officer. He made sure I was being looked after. He gathered his book bag and picked up and put back the spilled contents of my purse. And when the ambulance came and asked did we need to go to the hospital, he said yes when I hesitated. He called his dad and his brother to let them know what was going on. He asked the ambulance driver about how loud the siren would be inside the ambulance explaining that he was autistic and loud noises really bothered him. (We were driven to the hospital with no sirens.) When we got to the ER he was told he couldn't come in the ER entrance that we were coming in -- I told the paramedics that he was autistic, but Jacob had already spoken up for himself, letting them know that he didn't want to be separated from his mom until he knew how I was doing. I am so proud of him for keeping a cool head and doing what needed to be done.
At the hospital, no broken bones were found, just lot of bruising and sore all over. It seems that the car got the worst of it. The door that was hit was punched in a good foot, if not more. Everything on the driver's side is out of alignment. If that day had been a regular Wednesday for us, Patrick would have been in the front seat and Jacob would have been in the seat that received the largest part of the blow. I don't see how anyone in that seat could have survived. The car looks as though someone was injured.
But it wasn't a regular Wednesday. Patrick was home sick, so Jacob was in the front seat. Although there was a lot of students in the area, none were in the street. The driver of the other car immediately said he ran a red light. He also, by the way, walked away from the accident. Normally, there wouldn't be another manager at work and Mark wouldn't have been able to leave early, but another manager had come in early to get some things done, so Mark was able to leave immediately.
So here we are several days later. The car is totaled. We are sore, but thankful -- so thankful --
that it wasn't any worse. We are sure the hand of God was involved in this -- protecting us as well as all of these children leaving their school.
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