Michale Jackson was finally laid to rest last night. His body is in a mausoleum that is not open to the public. I am sure that is the best thing for his family; they can go to see him without being troubles with throngs of adoring fans.
I still am having a hard time accepting that he is really gone. It isn't that I am such a fan -- I mean, I am, but -- as I have said before -- his presence has always been in the background of my life -- ever since I can remember. As a child, there was Michael and the Jackson 5. When I was in college, he was just embarking on his solo career -- and he was a hit in the dorm that I lived in. From then on, there was his music -- his dance moves -- his is energy -- his life, running consistently in the background. No matter what I was going through -- there he was. And that has always been the case.
Now he is gone. The last part of my youth is gone. There will never be a smash concert series by him or any chance to see him perform live. Wasted chances that I always thought I would be able to change -- many of them are gone. I need to face my life and recognize that there are limited chances. Michael will not be able to see his children grow into adulthood. He won't even be there to help them through pre-teen angst. I ache for his children. I am glad that their father was put to rest last night, so they can move forward. I hope that they someday realize -- even though there were things in his life that I am sure he could change -- don't we all have those though -- Michael Jackson was a larger than life star. He began performing at age 5, and his whole being was creating the music and moves that defined him. As chis children grow up without their father, my generation grows old without our icon. So sad...
Friday, September 4, 2009
Sept. 4, 2009
I am listening to the Michael Jason album Bad that my Jacob ripped to the computers for me. Such an awesome young man.
It has been a while -- that seems to be my song of life lately. I can't seem to get myself on a schedule. I am working on it. I think the longer the boys are in school that the more I will be able to schedule myself. As for now though, I am making lists that I need to get through each day, and hoping to get through them in one day.
My boys going back to school has been -- well, not awful for me or them, but there have been some rough patches. Patrick was being bullied -- note that I said was -- there was a boy in one of his classes that talked ugly to him all of the time and just pushed Patrick around. Patrick finally got angry at the system -- he was doing the right things like telling mom and telling teachers -- it didn't stopped the boy -- so Patrick stabbed him with a pencil. Of course, Patrick got sent home for three days -- a vacation to him as the school has a policy of waiting three days before they will send work home. Long story short is that the boy is leaving Patrick alone -- and are some other kids that were bothering his friends. I am not an advocate of fighting, but sometimes, you just have to show a person who is boss. Patrick has switched his classes around a bit -- one of the math classes was too easy, so he switched to higher level, and that sort of thing. He is walking a tight rope now -- school still overwhelms him. He goes into the rest room and cries when it gets too much, but he is staying at school -- and doing his work.
Jacob is having a good time. I think being the big dog -- in 8th grade -- gives him a bit of confidence that he hasn't had before. He is doing well in all classes -- and even admits to liking some of them! He is actively participating in gym -- something that he hasn't always done, and is achieving a measure of success. He talks of the softball game that he made a hit and got on base, and eventually scored a run with it. he said it felt great! He even likes the "mean" teacher that most other kids don't like. Jacob says that he likes the things that he is teaching and the way he allows the students to be an active participant.
And my Ashton -- he stays close in my heart. I wish that we lived closer -- or that he lived closer -- so we could get to know him better. He made an impact on our family and had to leave all too soon. As for the other Texas children -- well, Alicia is working and going to school. Such a good girl, and I am so very proud of her. Now if she would just stop smoking ... And Trevor, well, he is Trevor. Doesn't share details hardly with me. I only hear if something is bad --
It has been a while -- that seems to be my song of life lately. I can't seem to get myself on a schedule. I am working on it. I think the longer the boys are in school that the more I will be able to schedule myself. As for now though, I am making lists that I need to get through each day, and hoping to get through them in one day.
My boys going back to school has been -- well, not awful for me or them, but there have been some rough patches. Patrick was being bullied -- note that I said was -- there was a boy in one of his classes that talked ugly to him all of the time and just pushed Patrick around. Patrick finally got angry at the system -- he was doing the right things like telling mom and telling teachers -- it didn't stopped the boy -- so Patrick stabbed him with a pencil. Of course, Patrick got sent home for three days -- a vacation to him as the school has a policy of waiting three days before they will send work home. Long story short is that the boy is leaving Patrick alone -- and are some other kids that were bothering his friends. I am not an advocate of fighting, but sometimes, you just have to show a person who is boss. Patrick has switched his classes around a bit -- one of the math classes was too easy, so he switched to higher level, and that sort of thing. He is walking a tight rope now -- school still overwhelms him. He goes into the rest room and cries when it gets too much, but he is staying at school -- and doing his work.
Jacob is having a good time. I think being the big dog -- in 8th grade -- gives him a bit of confidence that he hasn't had before. He is doing well in all classes -- and even admits to liking some of them! He is actively participating in gym -- something that he hasn't always done, and is achieving a measure of success. He talks of the softball game that he made a hit and got on base, and eventually scored a run with it. he said it felt great! He even likes the "mean" teacher that most other kids don't like. Jacob says that he likes the things that he is teaching and the way he allows the students to be an active participant.
And my Ashton -- he stays close in my heart. I wish that we lived closer -- or that he lived closer -- so we could get to know him better. He made an impact on our family and had to leave all too soon. As for the other Texas children -- well, Alicia is working and going to school. Such a good girl, and I am so very proud of her. Now if she would just stop smoking ... And Trevor, well, he is Trevor. Doesn't share details hardly with me. I only hear if something is bad --
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