The war

All around is mess. Papers - everywhere, books - everywhere. The clutter is taking control. The mind is loosing.

When no one is around, the elves come out and produce more -- leaving it to be found the next morning. Just a little here and there. Not even enough to notice, unless attention is being paid. A few more papers on the desk, a book laying on the floor, some dirt scattered on the table in front of the plant pot.

Insomnia kept them at bay for a long time, but the little sneaks, in their proud pointy shoes and ridiculous hats, are smart. The wait on the fringe for the eyelids to droop and finally close. Then they tiptoe around, knowing where the squeaky floorboard is and how close they can get to the family dog without waking him. Snickers muffled, they create just the ever so slight difference.

Their hope is to gain control Their prayer is that the human will either leave or be locked away. Their freedom is at stake, and the war is on.

True Friends

What defines a friend? Someone that can be trusted with your confidences? Someone that will tell you the truth? Someone that will be there for you in your time of need? Is a true friend all of these things? None of these things -- something intangible?

Obviously I don't know what defines a friend. The things that I thought meant the most, and some of the people that I thought were closest to my heart have proven that they are not who I thought them to be. Perhaps I put my friends on pedestal ... I don't really know. I do know that I am hurt and confused. I shared true feelings and concerns, and instead of any attempt at understanding -- I ended up with two less friends.

Granted, once I was called out, I made some not so wise choices myself. I was hurt -- terribly hurt -- so I responded in kind. Not wise as it made an already bad situation worse. So now we are divided, and true colors have been shown. In an already crazy world, I cannot and will not allow more crazy around me or my family. I don't think there is any fixing this time, not that I think I want it fixed. I think true colors have been shown, much to my dismay.

Right move

Can life be more unstable? Turning on the news shows us areas of the world where there are unimaginable horrors. This is a time in which all the world should have at a minimum food and fresh water. Not so.

So am I shallow to worry about my own situation? Problems such that we have never known, with no one to turn to. I see the worry etched in long lines on my husbands face. An overwhelming sense of helplessness tries to overtake us. All of our options are being weighed.

The opportunity has presented itself for my family to move back to Texas. It is an option that is under serious evaluation. Since moving to Missouri some 14 years ago, we have never felt at home. We have missed our children terribly. The relationships that we thought we would find here have never came to fruition. In fact, family relationships were probably stronger before the move away from Texas.

There are a lot of things to consider. The pull of Texas is strong. Right now, I think it is time to go home.