To love a daughter

My daughter has come and gone. She lives in San Antonio -- because she is an adult and that is where her love is. We miss her so much. It seems we never get to see her enough nor or our visits long enough. Wish she lived closer.

I am so proud of the woman she has become. She is smart, funny, and beautiful. What a together woman. Wish I had been half as together as she is at her age -- I wasn't. And -- to top it all off -- she is fearless. Something that she definitely didn't get from me!

Having her here makes me think of how I was at her age -- and all of the chances for things that I passed up on because of fear. Usually fear of doing things by myself or being alone. It used to be such a big thing. I have learned that it can be a good thing. Overcoming that neediness has been such a lesson for me. In some ways I feel as though there were wasted years in not getting to this lace sooner in my life. However, if you really look at it -- I wouldn't be the person that I am now if anything in my life had happened differently.

I do love, however, knowing that my daughter won't be held back by the same insecurities that I had.

Frustration

My frustration level is high, and try as I might, it isn't getting lower. The primary problem is my -- wheat do I call him -- my ex -- the boys dad -- my husband -- whatever he is, he is really on my nerves. I make all of the appointments for the boys; I make sure their needs are met; I am here every day for them -- not their dad. It is by his choice that he isn't here.

But -- and there is always the but, isn't there? BUT -- he still tries to control. Have you done this; do something that way; blah, blah, blah. Unless there is a step up with participation -- and child support -- I just don't think there is a right to say one way or the other. SHUT UP!