I am lying in my bed this afternoon. I have fought all day against pain levels, but it finally got to me. I have a half cleaned kitchen, some laundry done, and a bit cleaned out of my office, which has become the family storage space. It is so cluttered, I can barely walk. Surely we don’t need all of that stuff.
I lost my thumb drive that my two books are on. I can’t imagine what I did with it. It is the one that has all of my original work on it. It will have been missing for one week on Monday. Shame on me, I suppose for not taking better care of things.
I am on so much meds right now that I can‘t stand it. I am high – I feel disjointed from my body – as disconnect. Patrick comes to tell me that he took a nap. Something that I already knew as he fell asleep while watching the television. He wants a connection. Asking me to hold his hand and type with one hand. Athese are the times that I know he wants to be grown, but still feels like a child. Scary for both of us, as I am losing my boy; he is being transformed into a man before my eyes. I don’t like it. I want my children to stay small. The world outside is a scary place. There are so many things that they need to know.
No comments:
Post a Comment