Therapy, Day 5

I know I missed writing about a day of therapy. This is, it was just too painful to share. Sometimes that happens. As for day 5, I spent a great deal of the therapy day with my psychiatrist, whom I like more each time I meet with him. I don't know if it is because he is so good at what he does, or what his deal is, but I trust him. He doesn't ever talk down to me, nor does he try to counsel me. he says that there are therapists for counseling. He is about controlling my symptoms with medication and find the right combination of meds that will really help. He changed my meds again. The prescription is at the pharmacy, ir I would share the new drugs and amounts. I know one of the drugs is Ritalin.

Imagine a 45 year old taking Ritalin. I never thought that would be a drug I would take. At this point in my life, I am willing to do almost anything to correct or change how I feel. I haven't shared 100% truthfully with the people at Anthony House, but I will share with you. Yesterday was the first day in about a month that I didn't feel suicidal or have a plan. You see, I know if I would have told them that I was feeling that way, they would have, by law, had to place me on inpatient status. I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to go that route. I know the med change must be working, because this is day two that I don't have those thoughts.

My psychiatrist signed forms for me to continue to use FMLA until the end of the school year. I am going to apply for short term disability. I sure need it. We are not making the bills each month. I have been calling creditors to explain. Most have been reasonable. One said that they couldn't do anything about current payments, but that if I enrolled in their insurance program and was on disability, that they would pay off my credit card. Then if I don't carry a balance on the card, they won't charge each month for the protection. I enrolled today and am being sent paperwork. We will see if it is as good as it says. I have $4000 racked up on the card. That would be a huge monkey off my back.

Need to go. I have therapy yet again and must continue getting ready. I want to have time to go to Wal-greens before I go to Anthony House. Have those new meds to get.

Thanks for reading.