A lighter View

While I was at home sobbing to Paris Jackson trying to honor her father, my husband was at Ladue Crossing meeting Lou Brock, and receiving an autographed photo. Mr. Brock was one of the two baseball heroes of my youth -- the other being Curt Flood. A very good afternoon for Mark as he was allowed to meet this baseball legend.

Michael Jackson

The hardest thing today -- Paris Jackson pleading for her Daddy to know that she loves him, and that he was the best Daddy. I can't imagine what her life was like being the daughter of Michael, who wasn't allowed to be a "regular" person. My heart just goes out to all of his children -- Paris, Prince, and Blanket. I feel for all of his family, but most for the children. The simple love of a child for her Daddy.

More Michael

I have never been a fan of Al Sharpton, but I do appreciate his words during this celebrations Of Michael Jackson's life. It is touching to hear and see all of these people who just spread love so much to his family. A fan or not, one must respect the love being shared.

Michael

I am saddened by the death of Michael Jackson. I am a fan. I feel the swirl of frenzy that surrounds him -- that even in death he is not given perhaps the respect that he deserves. I know of the bad things the have seemed to drape him like a cape in the last few years. I wasn't there, so I can't claim to say one way or the other what he did in his private life.

However, I can choose to believe that he was one of the most fascinating performers in my lifetime. I believe he was a musical genius. He was music -- in his words, in his dance, in all that surrounded him. He was that puff of something that inspired us to sing and dance and create music. I love his music. I love the way he moved. I loved him. He has been a part of my life. I can remember my Michael Jackson moments -- listening to his music throughout my life. Seeing dance students perform his dance routines. I will miss his inspiration. I will miss the force that was Michael Jackson. I hope he finds the peace and happiness that he always seemed to be searching for when he was with us.

July 4, 2009

Patriotism to one's country -- isn't that what is supposed to be the prevailing mood today? Not in my house. In my house, we are still reeling from the addition of 15 year old Ashton -- a child fathered by Mark during his wild oat-sowing San Antonio years. We claim him; we love him. We ache for the years that we were not involved with him, but, at the same time, give praise to his San Antonio parents who have kept him on a straight and narrow path.

Our San Antonio children, Alicia and Trevor, have had the great fortune of meeting Ashton as well as his family. They have been made to feel warm and welcome. It is a great ride that we are on as a family. We welcome our new addition with open arms and open hearts, and praise his San Antonio parents for being so open and loving.

Welcome to our family -- Ashton.

Ashton

I found out a few days ago that there is another child in our family. Ashton is 15 -- and was just told that his biological father is Mark. There is no doubt in my mind that he is Mark's child.

I have been communicating with Ashton since that time. He is a charming and handsome young man. I was initially a bit shaken, but not any more. I am just glad to have him in our family.

I think it took a lot for his parents to have the courage to tell him. I don't know what I would do in that same situation. At any rate, I am glad to have him and look forward to getting to meet him in person and to get to know him better.

Thoughts for Tuesday

I am wondering -- how many others out there spend time ruminating about times past and friendships gone by the wayside. I am heavily a facebook fanatic -- approaching the need for a 12 step program! I have connected with others in a way I thought not possible, have been able to renew acquaintances, and even made some new friends, At the same time, I think about how I could be in a better place right now if I hadn't given up the chances that slipped so easily through my fingers.

But each day is a new chance, but I don't seem able to get past the cloud that I am under. I am having a problem putting all of the baggage behind me. Perhaps that is the wrong thing. Perhaps the problem is not putting things behind me, but looking only at today and what I can accomplish on this day. Shaking loose the baggage that often seems to swell over me is difficult, as is facing each new day as an opportunity to use. Lesson : more opportunity - old baggage = unending possibilities.