Life, Love, and Other Things

My how life can turn around on a dime. It seems as though loss has been a big issue lately. I have lost two friends recently that are both close in age to me. I lost an uncle. And I lost my Walter dog. It has just been so hard. But those of us left behind keep them alive in our hearts and memories and muscle on.

But wrapped up in all of the sadness is my own little bit of happy also. I have connected with an old friend of my sister -- and have quite unexpectedly found myself in love at the ripe age of 52. I don't really know how I got here, but here I am. It is at times scary and nerve wracking. But mostly, it is wonderful.

I have found a man that I didn't realize existed for real. Those that know me know I have been around the block a few times, so I thought I knew all about men. But I didn't. I didn't know there were men that actually put a woman first. Maybe side by side, but actually first? And everything else just falls from there -- he is loving, kind, wise, generous. All of the things that make a perfect match for me.

I come into this leery and untrusting. Thinking myself unlovable, old, and just worn out. Used up with absolutely no room left to love someone else or give anything to that person. I have tried to cut and run a couple of times, simply because it is so overwhelming at times to have someone care for you so deeply. But I have a great group of friends and a loyal sister who pull me back to reality, make me face my fears, and trust.

I don't understand the whys or hows, but this is surely one of the biggest blessings of my life.