9/11 and other things

Lots of things today. First -- 9/11/01 -- unless you are a child, most likely you remember the events of that tragic day. We all have our memories; I was doing day care when Mark called me to tell me to turn the TV on. It was horrible. I called him later because I was in a panic. I wanted my boys with me, so he went to their school to get them and bring them to me. I honestly thought the whole country was going to be targeted, and I thought St. Louis would be a likely choice. I wanted my family close.

I have put a link to The Falling Man. It will make you think -- I do have to warn you that there are some gut wrenching things in the video (it is also a book, by the way -- of the same name). Very thought provoking.

Second -- I am tired of being broke. Today, Patrick called me from school and asked that I bring him $1. (He takes a bit of money every day to buy a slice of cheese for his sandwich.) I had to tell him no. It hurt. I know he will be fine, but it really bothers me that I have to be so cost conscious. I don't have much gas in my car, so I am saving it. In addition, I really don't have the money to give to him. It is just the little things like this that make me sick to my stomach. I am 46 years old, and I just don't think life should be this gut wrenching.

I know there are a ton of people that have it worse. I do count my blessings. I guess I just don't like to have to tell my kids no, especially when it shouldn't be a big thing.

I have a friend that has been helping me out by sending food and household items to me. I recieved a box yesterday and realized that I am out of places to store the food. I am grateful that I know such a kind and giving person; I did tell her that I have run out of storage room. At any rate, I decided to give back to the food pantry that helped me out several times when there wasn't enough food to last all month. So I went through my pantry and took out items that I already had several of or that I thought would not be consumed. Three bags -- my boys helped me and we just took it in and handed it to them. It did feel good to be able to give back just a bit, and I think the boys were proud to help out too. Now, if only I could figure out a way to turn good deeds into money! That isn't really how I feel -- good deeds are done for the sake of being charitable.

I will stop here for now. I have some cleaning that I need to get done before I have to pick up my boys today. I do hope that the video is watched and that time is set saside, if only for a moment, to remember that we have our freedoms at the expense of others.