Today is the last day of November, 2008. When I got up this morning, there was a dusting of snow on the ground. It was just enough to create that filmy, frosty look of a fresh winter morning. Never mind that it was all melted off by 10 am. It was that newness that struck me. It made me feel as if it was created just for me.
That is what I need. Newness. I've been working on creating newness around me. I arranged my bedroom a bit different, and have been attacking the daily chores of my house with a different attitude. I am trying to see things more as blessings instead of curses.
What I am still having problems with is my family of origin. My sister called several days ago inquiring about my health and my situation. I told her -- I don't know why, but I spilled my guts to her. Then I found out that she emailed my siblings to tell basically dish dirt on me. That is the very thing I have been trying to prevent all along. I don't know how to deal with it or what to do or should I even do anything at all. The other thing is -- now that they do know, why aren't they stepping up to help me, or offer assistance or anything. Frustrating to say the least.
My attitude of gratitude today is that I can form my own family. I can include those that love me and that I love the most, whether they are my family of origin or not.
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