February 22, 2012

I do mean to post more, but I have been feeling not so well.  I thought I was getting better, but then I woke up this morning at 3 am with a terrible stomach ache.  It is now after 9pm, and my stomach is a bit better, but my head hurts so bad that I can hardly stand it.  My house is a wreck too, which doesn't tend to make a person feel better -- even at the best of times.

The good thing is -- that there is always another day.

My sister-friend 's mom  passed away recently.  It is so sad to loose your mother -- and so hard.  I know from experience.  Life is never the same.  Here is a link to a blog entry that my friend had written about her mom.  It is well worth the read.  PS:  I love you Melody.  Blue Memphis

A life well lived

I have been reflecting on the loss of Whitney Houston. Perhaps it touches me so because we are of the same age -- both born in 1963. Her life, for all of the supposed glamour that came with it appears to be one filled with heart ache.

I think of words that I have heard from other celebrities -- about how life as a celebrity isn't always as it appears to be. It is often filled with loneliness and isolation. I don't think I would want that kind of life. Sure, money can bring all sorts of material luxuries, but what are they if your life is empty otherwise?

I can't imagine not knowing who I could trust, who I could turn to. Always second guessing as to whether or not those around you are there for the money and fame or out of true love.

My life is often difficult. My health is not great. I suffer from chronic depression in addition to my other health issues. I have been to that edge and stepped over, not wanting to live any longer because I was so in the depths of that dark depression. I am financially poor by USA standards. But I have love of friends and family. I am rarely bored or lonely, and to be quite truthful, I don't feel especially poor. I have a house with electricity, heat, and running water. My children have luxuries like video games and the computer. We have three pets. I have a solid car that is paid for. I don't have the newest and best, but I am content. I wonder if Whiteny Houston would have said that smame thng. For all she had, I believe I have more.

An all new me

I have not been writing often -- not here, not anywhere. It is time to make a change. I am going to attempt to write more frequently, which includes blogging on a more regular basis.

Yesterday, it was announced that Whitney Houston had passed away. I turned 49 last month; she was 48. A talent cut short; a life cut short. I don't know what to make of it. I know she had her demons -- street drugs. Who knows what drove her there, but it was a sad place to be for sure. She leaves behind a daughter, who faces her adult life without her mother. My sympathies go out to Ms. Houston's family, and especially her daughter.

It makes me think of people that I have known that havc passed quite before their time. Unfortunately, I have lost friends -- as well as the lost of celebrities in pop culture. Mortality is a scary thing, I think. The thought of leaving behind those who you love most. It disturbs me to think that my children would be left without me; still too young to make it on their own. I would like to live to see them into their middle ages at least. It has always been important , but it is even more so since their father left as now they rely totally on me. I wonder how other single parents feel, or if they even give it consideration at all.

At any rate, 2012 is seeing an all new me. There is much that has been given a back seat, and it is time for me to bring them back into focus. To bring myself back into focus -- a clearer, sharper, more well-defined me.

Death of a baby

RIP Baby Tyler

Tyler Dasher made national news -- because his mama beat him to death. Tyler lived in my small St. Louis area community. In fact, he lived within walking distance from my house. He was 13 months old when his mama allegedly beat him to death for crying when she wanted to sleep. Then she took that poor baby and dumped him and called the police to say that he disappeared from her home.

What do we take away from this most horrendous event? It can be a learning moment for everyone. We all have a breaking point -- and for whatever reason Tyler's mama reached hers. What happened next could have been prevented if she would have just picked up a phone and called someone for help. There are various locations of crisis nurseries all around St. Louis. She could could have taken Tyler there. I know there were options.

As a parent myself, I have been to that edge. I haven't abused my kids, because I knew to call in for reinforcements. Parenting is a difficult job to say the least. It is also the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I love my children, and just can't wrap my head around the fact that parents kill their babies. There are so many other options.

More about Amy

According to the website aceshowbiz.com, Amy Winehouse's family has released the following statement to Us Weekly regarding her sudden death yesterday.

"Our family has been left bereft by the loss of Amy, a wonderful daughter, sister, niece. She leaves a gaping hole in our lives. We are coming together to remember her and we would appreciate some privacy and space at this terrible time."

In more news, aceshowbiz.com is reporting that Janis saw her daughter a day before her death on Saturday, July 23 during when she uttered "I love you, mum" before parting. "They are the words I will always treasure. I'm glad I saw her when I did," Janis said. The mother also said that Amy's death had been "only a matter of time" because during the visit "she seemed out of it". She added, "But her passing so suddenly still hasn't hit me."

Meanwhile, her father Mitch immediately canceled his scheduled performance in New York City and headed straight home. "I'm getting on the next plane back. I'm coming home. I have to be with Amy," he reportedly said. "I can't crack up for her sake. My family needs me. I'm devastated; it's such a shock."

A neighbor of Amy said that the night before her death he heard crying at 3:30 A.M. "like somebody mourning".

Other news sources are reporting that her bodyguard Ray Grange found her alone in her bed and not breathing authorities.

The autopsy of Amy Winehouse is still pending.

Amy

One of my favorite pictures of the late Amy Winehouse -- without her big hair! I love her soulful voice, and am profoundly saddened that her life was cut short. Tabloid television is reporting that her autopsy may be done as early as tomorrow, but I don't know if that means preliminary results will be available then or not.

A quick change of subject: please pray for my buddy David as he continues his war with cancer. He isn't fighting the cancer with medication any longer. I pray for his family and for his journey to be less agonizing.