What is REALLY Important

I find myself in a strange place. I have spent years collecting things -- mainly dolls, but the odd assortment of other things too. I really do love my things, or I wouldn't have them in the first place. These things that I have -- the are important to me. But I have found myself in a predicament in which I have discovered what is REALLY important.

It isn't the odd assortment of things that I have collected over the years. In fact, when faced with making the decision to have the things that I have carefully collected or to be with someone that I have found myself in love with, I find these things aren't quite as important as I thought they were.When the bottom line is drawn, love wins out.

Becoming free from trappings of living in the same town for almost 20 years, and in the same house for a large part of that time, has become my mission. I look around at these things that took me years to acquire, and I ask this question: "What is more important?" The answer every time is love.

Life, Love, and Other Things

My how life can turn around on a dime. It seems as though loss has been a big issue lately. I have lost two friends recently that are both close in age to me. I lost an uncle. And I lost my Walter dog. It has just been so hard. But those of us left behind keep them alive in our hearts and memories and muscle on.

But wrapped up in all of the sadness is my own little bit of happy also. I have connected with an old friend of my sister -- and have quite unexpectedly found myself in love at the ripe age of 52. I don't really know how I got here, but here I am. It is at times scary and nerve wracking. But mostly, it is wonderful.

I have found a man that I didn't realize existed for real. Those that know me know I have been around the block a few times, so I thought I knew all about men. But I didn't. I didn't know there were men that actually put a woman first. Maybe side by side, but actually first? And everything else just falls from there -- he is loving, kind, wise, generous. All of the things that make a perfect match for me.

I come into this leery and untrusting. Thinking myself unlovable, old, and just worn out. Used up with absolutely no room left to love someone else or give anything to that person. I have tried to cut and run a couple of times, simply because it is so overwhelming at times to have someone care for you so deeply. But I have a great group of friends and a loyal sister who pull me back to reality, make me face my fears, and trust.

I don't understand the whys or hows, but this is surely one of the biggest blessings of my life.

My sister-friend 's mom  passed away recently.  It is so sad to loose your mother -- and so hard.  I know from experience.  Life is never the same.  Here is a link to a blog entry that my friend had written about her mom.  It is well worth the read.  PS:  I love you Melody.  Blue Memphis

A lesson on love

When I was a child living at home with my parents and my six brothers and sisters, it was a hard time for us. My dad treated my mom and us kids awful. In the early years of their marriage -- and way before me -- my dad drank and ran around and just didn't take care of his family. He got another woman pregnant while he was married to my mom, he became an alcoholic. He abused us kids and my mom. Until a couple of years ago, I had about 11 years of my life that I couldn't really recall because what happened during that span of time was so horrendous.

Years later, when I was an adult, I asked my mom why she stayed through all of that garbage he put her through. She simply said, "I love him. I have always loved him." I really didn't get it at the time, and no matter how often I said it or thought about it, I just couldn't see how her love for my dad could be so strong as to weather even the stormiest of times. I knew what love was, but I guess I didn't know what that never ending love was. I do now, and I totally understand: love doesn't know boundaries or follow a structure. Nor does it come easy or cheaply. But once it has a grip on your heart, if it is true love, it won't ever give up, no matter the situation or the consequence.